The air is getting cooler in the evenings now, and I shove the ticket into my sweatshirt pocket as I reach for the theater doors.
The lobby is mostly empty this late. There are a couple of employees behind the concession counter looking bored. It’s slow enough that there are two ushers posted at the ticket-taking podium. One leans on the podium with both elbows. His stringy black hair covers his cheeks in an attempt to hide his acne.
The other takes my ticket and smiles. “Theater seven, down the hall to your left.”
The pre-movie ads aren’t working tonight and I am the only one in the theater. It’s silent and I close my eyes, taking in the smell of old popcorn, the sticky residue of spilled sodas, and the musty odor of over-used theater seats.
The lights go down and the previews start. Sound staggers from the screen, like someone is garbling the soundtrack.
Two trailers in, a couple walks in and takes a seat just behind me and to the left. Then a handful of others stumble in, trying to find seats in the dark.
When it’s over, the pop music resonates through the theater, and we all file out into the cool, dark night.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wanted 9:25
When Jake comes, we always get candy.
As always, we enter the fluorescent wasteland of Kmart with a mix of trepidation and fascination, both repulsed by it and drawn to it like an overturned semi on the highway. Thickness isn’t working tonight and Jake and I are both disappointed. He’s been there every single time I’ve come here and his absence creates a disappointment in us both that cannot be replaced by the middle-aged woman sitting in his spot behind the Customer Service counter. She looks like Fran Dresher in a shag haircut, sans makeup.
We make our way to the candy isle and confront the wall of choices. Jake grabs a box of Good and Fruity, but I’m in the mood for something different. We handle boxes of Gummi worms, sour cherries, generic candy fruit slices, coconut covered marshmallows, and chocolate covered raisins. Jake finally picks up a box of Whoppers and we head for the checkout.
The magazines shout at us with their gaudy covers: “Britney Talks about Family and Her Troubles,” “10 Ways to Make Your Man Go Wild in Bed,” “Double Chocolate Cherry Bunt Cake Recipe Inside,” “Lose 10 lbs. in 10 Days.”
The clerk slides the candy across the scanner as I pick up a fuzzy animal PEZ dispenser from its display next to the register.
“We have political ones over there,” the clerk says brightly.
“Oh?”
“There’s an elephant, and a donkey with a red scarf.”
“Awesome,” I say. “Over in the political section?” As if I’m interested in buying a fuzzy donkey, so I can show my political allegiance through my choice candy dispenser.
The clerk looks confused. “No,” he says. “Just over there.”
“Sure,” I smile. “I’ll check it out.”
He looks at me, expecting that I have something to buy as well. But I just walk past.
How do two grown men look, buying two boxes of candy together at 9 o’clock at night?
We pick up Nate on our way to the theater and I play him a Regina Spektor song where I think she sings in Russian. He knows Russian, so I thought he could enlighten me. But he shakes his head. “It’s not Russian. It’s a Slavic language, but it’s not Russian.”
I shrug my shoulders.
As we sit down, Jake breaks out the candy and passes it around. I’ve never really understood the fascination people have with eating while watching a movie. Usually the candy or popcorn is half gone by the time the previews are over anyway. And, as is the case this time, we get sick of the candy and only continue eating it out of obligation. We pass the candy back and forth, not really wanting any more, but taking it for the sake of politeness.
Ten minutes into the movie my mouth is raw from sucking on Whoppers, and the Good n’ Fruitys cover my taste buds with a haze of sugar so everything has the same indecipherable sweet-sticky synthetic fruit flavor.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
The Happening 10:15
I’m alone tonight. Just me and my affair with the screen. Alicia is already asleep by the time I leave.
The Olympics are on, but since I don’t have a TV, I can only watch them online. They don’t stream the marquee events online. No Michael Phelps. No beach volleyball. So I’ve been watching women’s archery and field hockey. I saw a Korean woman beat the Olympic record for archery. That was exciting.
I languidly haul myself from the computer screen, slip my keys and wallet into my pocket, and head out the door. The night is cool for the middle of August, but it feels good to roll down the windows and feel the slight chill wash over my cheeks and tussle my hair.
The sprinklers are on at the theater, and water sprays over the little islands of grass in the parking lot. Mostly it falls on the warm asphalt and runs in big swaths toward the drainage grate.
There is a group of people standing in front of the ticket window trying to get a consensus of what to see. I stand a few feet behind them waiting for them to make up their mind and buy some tickets. One of them sees me.
“This one’s closed,” says a skinny Hispanic man with a moustache.
“Huh?”
He points to the other ticket window where a peroxide blonde sits bored, waiting for someone to buy a ticket.
“Oh,” I say. I start to walk over to the open ticket window, but—apparently—at the same moment that they guy was telling me the other ticket window was open the group had come to a consensus. And now we move parallel to each other to the other window. The skinny guy with the moustache sees me and parts the crowd. He nods.
I kind of half-smile and walk through, as the rest of his group stares at me, wondering why I have been given the privileged of going before them.
I buy my ticket from the peroxide blonde, and notice she has a lip ring. “Enjoy the show,” she says.
There is no ticket-taker tonight. Other movie goers, confused by the absence of someone to check their tickets, have left their tickets on top of the podium, not even bothering to tear them. Consciously, I think we all recognize the superfluousness of the ticket-taker. But when he is gone we are confused by his absence. Where has the gate keeper gone? There is feeling that I am flouting the system as I walk past the podium and stick ym entire, entact ticket into my pocket.
In the bathroom, a man come in, bypasses the urinals and heads straight for the sinks. He washes his hands casually with soap. I wonder why this man came to the bathroom for the sole purpose of washing his hands. What did he touch? I would start to run scenarios in my head, but it is late and my movie will be starting soon. After all, this is the dollar theater; anything can happen.
I am the only one in the theater. I can enjoy my affair in privacy.
The movie starts, but the picture is out of focus and the curtain is still hanging halfway down the screen. Within a minute, it is all fixed with the exception of the bright green lines running down the screen. But eventually those disappear.
Two more guys walk in and sit down on the other side of the isle. Then a couple sits in the back.
The movie ends with no fanfare. The two guys are laughing at the absurdity of it all. And I will too on the drive home.
The Olympics are on, but since I don’t have a TV, I can only watch them online. They don’t stream the marquee events online. No Michael Phelps. No beach volleyball. So I’ve been watching women’s archery and field hockey. I saw a Korean woman beat the Olympic record for archery. That was exciting.
I languidly haul myself from the computer screen, slip my keys and wallet into my pocket, and head out the door. The night is cool for the middle of August, but it feels good to roll down the windows and feel the slight chill wash over my cheeks and tussle my hair.
The sprinklers are on at the theater, and water sprays over the little islands of grass in the parking lot. Mostly it falls on the warm asphalt and runs in big swaths toward the drainage grate.
There is a group of people standing in front of the ticket window trying to get a consensus of what to see. I stand a few feet behind them waiting for them to make up their mind and buy some tickets. One of them sees me.
“This one’s closed,” says a skinny Hispanic man with a moustache.
“Huh?”
He points to the other ticket window where a peroxide blonde sits bored, waiting for someone to buy a ticket.
“Oh,” I say. I start to walk over to the open ticket window, but—apparently—at the same moment that they guy was telling me the other ticket window was open the group had come to a consensus. And now we move parallel to each other to the other window. The skinny guy with the moustache sees me and parts the crowd. He nods.
I kind of half-smile and walk through, as the rest of his group stares at me, wondering why I have been given the privileged of going before them.
I buy my ticket from the peroxide blonde, and notice she has a lip ring. “Enjoy the show,” she says.
There is no ticket-taker tonight. Other movie goers, confused by the absence of someone to check their tickets, have left their tickets on top of the podium, not even bothering to tear them. Consciously, I think we all recognize the superfluousness of the ticket-taker. But when he is gone we are confused by his absence. Where has the gate keeper gone? There is feeling that I am flouting the system as I walk past the podium and stick ym entire, entact ticket into my pocket.
In the bathroom, a man come in, bypasses the urinals and heads straight for the sinks. He washes his hands casually with soap. I wonder why this man came to the bathroom for the sole purpose of washing his hands. What did he touch? I would start to run scenarios in my head, but it is late and my movie will be starting soon. After all, this is the dollar theater; anything can happen.
I am the only one in the theater. I can enjoy my affair in privacy.
The movie starts, but the picture is out of focus and the curtain is still hanging halfway down the screen. Within a minute, it is all fixed with the exception of the bright green lines running down the screen. But eventually those disappear.
Two more guys walk in and sit down on the other side of the isle. Then a couple sits in the back.
The movie ends with no fanfare. The two guys are laughing at the absurdity of it all. And I will too on the drive home.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Iron Man 9:50
Jake’s been hanging around our place while he waits for his shift to start again at the camp for troubled teens. He’s 8 days on, 6 days off in Duchane. I’d talked to Nate about hitting the late night showing of Iron Man, which neither of us have seen. Jake was there so I offered him to come along if he wanted.
“Tonight?”
“Yeah,” I say.
He looks non-chalant, but there is an excitement in his eyes. “Sure.”
The movie starts at ten to ten, and Nate shows up at 9:30. As soon as Nate walks in, I give the signal to go, Jake jumps up from the computer, and we all pile into my Jetta.
“Do we have time to get candy?” Jake asks from the back seat.
I know we’ll be cutting it close. I know it’s only a $1 movie, but I’ve been waiting for a long time for this, and I didn’t want to be late.
“Uh.” I put on a labored look as I stare at the dashboard lights. “Yeah, if we hurry.”
So I pull out, take a right, and head to Kmart.
When we pull into the parking lot, we jump out and hurry inside, pushed by the weight of my
“Uh, yeah, if we hurry.”
We’ve done this before, Jake and I. Nate’s never been to the Kmart that I affectionately call the “black hole of hope.” Every time I’ve been here, there’s always more employees in the store than customers. And, usually, they’re just standing around while one employee at the customer service desk checks out customers.
We head straight to the candy isle and Jake grabs the last box of Good and Fruity and some Charleston Chews.
“These are gross,” Jake says picking up a bag of chocolate Skittles.
“Totally gross,” I echo.
“Really?” Nate says picking up a box of Sour Patch Kids and some Mike and Ikes.
“Yeah,” I say. “They’re not even chocolate, they’re just Skittles that are supposed to taste like chocolate.”
“Nasty.”
For once, there is actually a register open, but the only guy in line has an overflowing shopping cart. I guess that’s good for Kmart. Instead of waiting, Jake instinctively heads to the customer service desk. Thickness is on the phone, probably seventeen, 5’4”, and about 300 lbs.
“He can help you at the register over there,” he says, covering the receiver, but not removing the phone from his ear.
“Can you just check me out here?” says Jake, impatient.
Thickness sighs, continues talking, but takes the candy, and the cash. He drops the change on the counter and turns around. “Yeah, I need a hair cut real bad.” Jake tears the receipt off the register. “It’s lookin’ all ghetto, with the lines are growin’ over.” Thickness gives a laugh. “Nah, nah, nah.”
We’re out the door.
The line at the theater is short, which surprises me; this is the first week Iron Man is at the dollar theater. I was here last week when the new Hulk movie came out and I was in line for 10 minutes at a 10:00 showing. I guess that’s good for us.
After our ritual pee, we settle in to, like, 20 previews, but I don’t mind. Even though I’ve already seen all the previews, I still watch them. There is a simplicity and art to a good trailer that I’m still in love with.
Jake, Nate, and I pass candy boxes back and forth, chewing on high fructose corn syrup, red 40, and chocolate.
Jake and I smell cigarette smoke. It’s the dollar theater.
The movie rocks. We even sit through the credits to see Sam Jackson appear as Nick Fury, hinting at the upcoming Avengers movie.
At half-past midnight, we walk out of the theater to warm night air. We roll down the car windows and hear the sprinklers at the park as we pass them on our way home.
“Tonight?”
“Yeah,” I say.
He looks non-chalant, but there is an excitement in his eyes. “Sure.”
The movie starts at ten to ten, and Nate shows up at 9:30. As soon as Nate walks in, I give the signal to go, Jake jumps up from the computer, and we all pile into my Jetta.
“Do we have time to get candy?” Jake asks from the back seat.
I know we’ll be cutting it close. I know it’s only a $1 movie, but I’ve been waiting for a long time for this, and I didn’t want to be late.
“Uh.” I put on a labored look as I stare at the dashboard lights. “Yeah, if we hurry.”
So I pull out, take a right, and head to Kmart.
When we pull into the parking lot, we jump out and hurry inside, pushed by the weight of my
“Uh, yeah, if we hurry.”
We’ve done this before, Jake and I. Nate’s never been to the Kmart that I affectionately call the “black hole of hope.” Every time I’ve been here, there’s always more employees in the store than customers. And, usually, they’re just standing around while one employee at the customer service desk checks out customers.
We head straight to the candy isle and Jake grabs the last box of Good and Fruity and some Charleston Chews.
“These are gross,” Jake says picking up a bag of chocolate Skittles.
“Totally gross,” I echo.
“Really?” Nate says picking up a box of Sour Patch Kids and some Mike and Ikes.
“Yeah,” I say. “They’re not even chocolate, they’re just Skittles that are supposed to taste like chocolate.”
“Nasty.”
For once, there is actually a register open, but the only guy in line has an overflowing shopping cart. I guess that’s good for Kmart. Instead of waiting, Jake instinctively heads to the customer service desk. Thickness is on the phone, probably seventeen, 5’4”, and about 300 lbs.
“He can help you at the register over there,” he says, covering the receiver, but not removing the phone from his ear.
“Can you just check me out here?” says Jake, impatient.
Thickness sighs, continues talking, but takes the candy, and the cash. He drops the change on the counter and turns around. “Yeah, I need a hair cut real bad.” Jake tears the receipt off the register. “It’s lookin’ all ghetto, with the lines are growin’ over.” Thickness gives a laugh. “Nah, nah, nah.”
We’re out the door.
The line at the theater is short, which surprises me; this is the first week Iron Man is at the dollar theater. I was here last week when the new Hulk movie came out and I was in line for 10 minutes at a 10:00 showing. I guess that’s good for us.
After our ritual pee, we settle in to, like, 20 previews, but I don’t mind. Even though I’ve already seen all the previews, I still watch them. There is a simplicity and art to a good trailer that I’m still in love with.
Jake, Nate, and I pass candy boxes back and forth, chewing on high fructose corn syrup, red 40, and chocolate.
Jake and I smell cigarette smoke. It’s the dollar theater.
The movie rocks. We even sit through the credits to see Sam Jackson appear as Nick Fury, hinting at the upcoming Avengers movie.
At half-past midnight, we walk out of the theater to warm night air. We roll down the car windows and hear the sprinklers at the park as we pass them on our way home.
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